How cool can my baby be?

I am 27 weeks pregnant, today, which means I have 91 days to go.
This translates into 13 weeks if you are bad at math.
I got a call from my friend Becky today to scold me for not posting enough blogs for her reading pleasure. I had to explain that I really don't have much time to post with all the trips back and forth to pee.
Seriously, though, today Mr. W and I went to Target to register for the baby and also to claim the free gift card that came along with registering.
That is how Babies R Us lured me in, too. Anyone else out there offering a free gift card, I will happily add some of your crap to my wish list for the baby Shrek. He'll be so pleased if he ends up with 3 of everything. That means he can poop, pee and spit up on all of it, and at least twice, we can just throw the stuff out.
OK, maybe not.
Anyway, I also pointed out my edema to Daddy today who was happy to agree while reminding me that "my leg used to get smaller where my knee is". Thanks. In all honesty, I don't think it is that bad.
Since I proclaimed that my baby would be a boy before the rest of the world, I have my next prediction. I think this baby is going to show up early. Now, I have said I have a feeling about the 3rd of October, however, it wouldn't surprise me if he rears his head even sooner than that. Mr. W asked why I felt that way and I told him because I already feel like there is a bowling ball in my pelvis. Surely he will drop out sooner than later. Of course, it would be more like me to be one of those girls who goes 2 weeks beyond her due date. If that is the case, Mommy will be snacking on Reese Cups and other Halloween treats all the way to the maternity ward.
While Mr. W and I were out yesterday, we noticed that the Christmas ornaments are already going up in Hallmark. "Can't I please have my baby first?" I said to Mr. W. Why we are seeing trees and garland in July, I don't know, but I saw on the news that Sears is going to bring this about as well. Let's not just commercialize Christmas, let's do it for the entire second half of the year and most of the summer. What happened to pumpkins and turkeys? And football season?! I feel a wave of panic as the year is being ripped away from me.
Speaking of commercialism, one thing I am a big fan of is handbags. I always have been, even as a kid. Maybe because size just isn't that big of an issue. Maybe because I feel a little more daring with accessories than I do with my clothes. Not certain. Anyway, I have always said when I had a child, I would need a fierce diaper bag, and not one that has puppies or kittens or duckies or any of that crap. No Disney for my baby. My baby needs style. My baby means business.
So as I am in the store today, an idea strikes me, and though I had it in my hand and was nearly ready to take the plunge, I hesitated and tried to ask myself "what would my baby do?".
See, in my hand and ready to rock my baby's diapers and bottles and snacks and changing pad was a fully studded Ed Hardy bag.
I should add that my first instinct has always been Burberry on this. After considering the price and the lack of options in a quality brand with a similar plaid print, I was struck with the thought that my baby might think the Ed Hardy bag, completely covered in metal studs, was really cool. I had it in my hand and was going back and forth, and then I remembered reading something about people giving their kids names (like Ernest, for example) and basically saying "giving your baby a name like this means that they will have to be very, very cool to overcome it". I started to wonder if I would scar my child with the Ed Hardy tattooed studs. I am still not convinced that I made the right decision by setting it down, but, much like with his name, I am just not quite ready to commit.
Speaking of names, the latest horrible name suggested by Mr. W is Maximo. Maximo? MAXimo?! Are you kidding me? You want to name our baby after something that sounds like a drain opener or a scouring agent.
One more reason why Mr. W's opinion counts less and less every day. The Ed Hardy diaper bag, my kid can probably overcome. Maximo? I don't think any one's kid could overcome something like that. That is nearly as stupid as naming your kid Apple. But wait, someone already did that.