A letter to my little boy

Dear Son,

Mommy is still hobbling around like an old lady today, after a week of being miserable. I don't think this is your fault. I think it is best to blame Daddy.
If he ever picked his clothes up off the floor, then Mommy wouldn't have to bend over so much.

Daddy is very excited for you to get here because he wants to teach you to act like a little monkey. Even if you think this is stupid, you should probably give it a shot, just to amuse him. Mommy thinks it is funny when Daddy does it, so it will make her laugh when you do it, too.

Daddy also really likes your hat that Mommy ordered online. Aunt Beth really likes it, too, and actually found it, first, so if you think it is silly, blame her. Mommy thinks you will look so cute in it that she will probably squeeze you really hard when she picks you up for a hug. Mommy does this to the dog, too, so don't feel bad.

Mommy and Daddy are also trying to pick a nice name for you. Daddy has lots of suggestions that may sound cool when you are 6 or 7, but when you are trying to get a date or a job, you will thank Mommy for intervening. No employer wants to hire a Vulcan, and no girl wants to date a Thor. Vulcan sounds a little too much like a Star Trek character to Mommy. It might be. I never liked that show. The dog has made a few suggestions, too, but we don't think naming you Chicken or Pig after his favorite toys would be very nice.

Mommy has already bought you some toys, some very cute little clothes, a cool quilt for your bed, and some books. Daddy said he wants you to have Mommy's brains, and Mommy explained to him that smart kids start reading early. Even if Mommy and Daddy have to read it all to you for a really long time, one day, you will point at a word and read it all by yourself. Then many years from now you will be able to spell and write, too, and you can come here online and write Mommy and Daddy a letter about how it is our fault how screwed up you are.

I keep wondering what you will look like and what you will sound like, and waiting is very hard for me, since Mommy is very impatient. Mommy doesn't like standing in lines or sitting in traffic, so the next 4 months will be going by slow. At the same, time, though, it has started to move faster because I can call you my son, and pick things out for you, and imagine how big you will grow. Daddy says you are going to be a giant. He is basing this assumption on you being our child, and male. If you look like a 7th grader in kindergarten, just remember that one day you will be very happy about this. Daddy, as you will see, was always the biggest and tallest on his team. He still is. Now, that makes Daddy very cool. It also means every little person wants to be his friend in case they get into a fight. Especially the mouthy ones. If you are big like Daddy, I expect your best friends will include at least one very puny, short, smartass kid. Just remember, if he makes Mommy mad, he's going home, and not coming over anymore unless Daddy is watching you.

Another thing Daddy is really looking forward to is having you around for the infamous Ohio State/Michigan game. Mommy already has your outfit ready. You will look like a real fan. Son, you are being born into this, and it is something you will learn more about as the years go by. You will learn to see a Michigan license plate and get annoyed that someone from Michigan is even driving on your roads. Not sure why this is. You will meet people from Michigan that are very nice. Even if they are Michigan fans. You will like them. It will be fine. At the same time, everyone unknown from Michigan is an enemy until proven to be your friend. Mommy and Daddy will both enjoy watching the games with their little boy, but Mommy has a feeling she will be spending a lot more time in the kitchen making snacks than ever.

Speaking of snacks, I can feel you moving around sometimes, now. You wiggle around when Mommy eats something. You were going crazy when Mommy ate a big plate of veggies the other night. I hope this means you were enjoying them, and not that you were trying to figure out where to find the drain plug in there. You will eat your vegetables. One day, when you are big like Daddy, you can decide to only eat meat and protein powder and supplements, but for many years, your digestive system belongs to Mommy, and will be eating every type of food.
Mommy also won't say anything if you won't eat lettuce. Mommy didn't like it until she was about 8 or 10. And soda? We'll get that out of the way. Daddy thinks it is the devil. Mommy enjoys them, herself. Mommy will probably let you have some when Daddy isn't looking, but you need to drink milk, water and juice while you grow. However, Mommy would never tell you that you can't have a Coke with pizza, if you want. The thought of any other drink just makes her stomach turn.

Oh, and one last thing. Mommy will tell you now that if you ever have a brother or sister, you need to share with them, and protect them. You also need to share Mommy's notes and letters to you and her journal. Mommy knows that you will keep her very busy, and they might not get the same attention during her pregnancy that she can give to you. Try to remember that if you ever think it isn't fair being the oldest.
Being in the middle and being the youngest have their fair share of disadvantages, too. Life isn't fair. It never will be. No one can have everything, so we have to really appreciate and enjoy what we've got. Someone else will always wish they had what you have and you will always find something else that you want. Mommy and Daddy will do their best for you, but we will always wish we had done x, y or z. You will do things you wish you hadn't. You will likely think of this while sitting in the corner when you are young. Some older people have to think of this while they are sitting in jail. Trust me, you will thank us for those trips to the corner and your room when you are not in jail.

Mommy and Daddy and and your Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents are all excited to meet you, so just keep swimming around in there, doing what you're doing and give me the occasional kick so I know you're getting fed, and we'll see you in a few months!

Love,
Mom