Come out, come out, wherever you are...

Dear Mommy's Little Boy,

Today Mommy went to the Doctor and we discussed ways to interrupt your nap time and play time if you choose not to play along nicely.
You are a day late now which is OK with Mom, and even a few more will be no problem.
Let's talk about what happens if you choose not to come out of hiding.
The doctor told Mommy that tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday are all fair game. Now, let's talk about this more. Since you are showing no sign of popping out, they may have to give something to Mommy to make her start to dilate. That means her cervix has to start opening so that your giant pumpkin head can fit through it. This usually does not happen in the course of 5 minutes. I also hear it may not be lots of fun, and involves some contractions.
Then, after waiting overnight for something like this to work, we then have to check and maybe or maybe not start Mommy on a drug called Pitocin. This will make Mommy pretty uncomfortable, and still may not be enough to move you along the way that we would like. They will give me more and more until Mommy is in a lot of pain and you start moving from where you are. This will cramp the quarters where you are sitting right now. Essentially, we are going to shrink your bedroom and start to push you out the door. Then, all the climate control in that bedroom will be ruined when they break the water and you will be rushing around and trying to figure out where to go at the last minute.
Mommy doesn't want that for you, and if you get scared or confused while this happens, they will just cut a hole in the roof and take you out by airlift. Mommy really doesn't want that kind of drama for either one of us.
All this fun will start Thursday night, as it stands, because your Mommy wants to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you are running a little behind. Mommy wrestled with this a little because the schedule she is working with was trying to take into account giving you some time to show up on your own, giving an induction time to work, and making sure you are ready to make an appearance somehow before my doctor is not on call anymore. We like him and think he is pretty smart, so we would prefer that he delivers you as opposed to some random foreign med student.
That being said, you have the next three days to lounge around, pack your things, and start vacating the premises. If not, your Mommy will be torn about whether or not she is making the right decision with this.
If you could please comply with these wishes, I can assure you it will be well worth your efforts and you will get to see the world in a timely manner!

Love, Mom