Dear Pumpkinhead

Well, Mommy is growing herself a pumpkin. We went to see the doctor today and had the ultrasound we were waiting for. He's 8lb 8oz by their best guess at this point. That sounds like one cooked baby to me. Time to come out, now, Mr. Tanner. You are big enough. Daddy thinks it would be great if you were 10 lbs. Mommy disagrees and thinks that 8 1/2 sounds just about perfect. There is room for 10% error either way. That means you could potentially be a little over 7 1/2 or you could be a whopping 9 something at this point. In any case, you have baked. Your head is screwed down into Mommy's pelvis and is making it very difficult to walk at this point. It is also putting unbearable pressure on my bladder and while I love nothing more than going pee every 15 minutes for the sake of my little boy, I am ready to stop anytime.
I had a contraction on Saturday night and it took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. This is how I know that it was a contraction and not something else.
That was an hour before the Ohio State game. Seems that when you realized you wouldn't have time to make it out for kickoff, you decided to stay right where you are. Witnessing this event made your dad chuckle. I promptly informed him that would be one way to get thrown out of the birth of his first child. He did quickly apologize and let me know that the look on my face did it to him. He told the doctor today that I looked like I got my "tail pulled". That's pretty accurate. It came from nowhere and it hurt like something I am not looking forward to. I can tell you that. The thought of dozens more of these coming in short waves is painting a very ugly picture right now.
The doctor said you will be coming out by next weekend, so the longest I will have to wait is about 11 days, give or take. The cook-o-meter says you will be done in 6. I suggest you show up before then because every good cookie is just slightly soft when it comes out.
Sounds like regardless, you will have a few fat rolls for us to pinch. Fat babies are the best, so roll on out of there, chubs, so we can get our hands on you.
We got to see your big melon head today and your belly, which look to be about the same size around by the pictures. They said that is normal, so good job with that.
Your little thighs are all cramped up and look like they could use a few feet of space around them. Right now you are working with millimeters so again, I offer you all the space in the world if you will only vacate your current quarters.
If you do decide to stay put a bit longer, I only ask that you do not appear between the hours of 8 and 5 on Wednesday. Mommy is taking her boss to meet some clients that day and is thinking that would be a little much for her to juggle all at once.
So the good news is that we are thinking you may be able to come out without gutting Mommy like a fish. Actually, the only thing that isn't good news is that Mommy is not dilated, which means you will show up when you please. I would like to say that you get that from your father, but neither one of us is the most punctual, so I have to take some of the blame, there.