Day one of intervention

Well, I made the call to schedule us into the hospital tonight. I keep hoping and wishing that something will happen before I get there and labor will start to progress on its own. I hear stories all the time of labor starting the day before an induction. Yea, I keep mentally picturing this happening to me, but, much like mentally picturing my lottery win, I have not been successful.

The nurse is supposed to get me scheduled and call me back. Mr. W has informed work that his FMLA will need to start tomorrow, and then everything will be in place.

I put in a load of laundry this morning, swept the kitchen and laundry room, sat down at the computer to do a little window shopping, check emails, update this little number and then I plan on scrubbing the bathroom, running the vacuum and maybe mopping again. Seems I just can't mop the floor enough for my liking. This is normally something I truly loathe and put off for ages, but this will be the second mop in a week. Part of it is my Mr. Clean mop I bought. I finally splurged on a decent mop and I am so happy to have it. That probably sounds stupid, but I love this thing. It wrings out very well and makes nice controlled mop lines on the floor and I think it really takes up dirt nicely. Something to do with the thickness and density of the mop head makes me happy. Mr. Clean, there's your plug...I will take a check any time you see fit to send one.

I spent some time this morning looking all over for the necklace that Mr. W got me for our wedding day, which I finally found in one of those "safe places" where I tend to lose things. I also put on the bracelet my Mom gave me for my birthday right before she died and I sat on the floor crying because I wish I could talk to her, today. She would be reminding me that she did this years ago with a lot less medical advancement in a base hospital and delivered twins. Not sure what she would have to say about me being induced, as this didn't seem to be a problem for her. I guess none of us were shy about coming out.

I have plans to fix my hair and get makeup on in a bit, since this is something I can plan for as well. You would think I was either going to meet the queen today, or meet my demise, one of the two. The truth is, there is no telling if Mr. T will show up tomorrow or even the next day. It's just not something that I can control but at least I can prevent myself from showing up at the hospital looking like I was drug there by a pack of dogs(which is, incidentally, how I look now).

So I am sitting and waiting to hear back from the nurse about where and when to report.

I guess it is pretty stupid to feel so nervous about all this, but I can't seem to calm down.

I am going to be a mom. Of course, I guess in one sense, I already am, but it gets a lot different once that child isn't attached to you and you can just set him down and misplace him like your car keys or drop him like a dinner plate. Once you hear him cry and know he needs you for something, but you have to figure out what that something is, you take things to a whole new level.

Don't get me started on when he starts walking and exploring and throwing things and asking for money and telling us how we ruined his life. I guess we will have many years ahead of us to take it all with a grain of salt.

Honestly, I think this may be the scariest day in all my life.

Mom, I really wish you were here right now, and to all my other family and friends, I am thankful you are here, because Jen is not nearly as tough as she would have everyone believe.